My Ranking Of All The Rides (I went on) At Universal Studios Orlando Resort This Last Weekend

Official, immutable, canonized

1. Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure¹ (Islands of Adventure)

2. VelociCoaster (IoA)

3. Hogwarts Express (both)

4. Revenge of the Mummy: The Ride (Universal Studios)

5. The Amazing Adventures of Spider-man (IoA)

6. The Incredible Hulk Coaster (IoA)

7. Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit (US)

8. E.T. Adventure (US)

9. Harry Pottery and the Forbidden Journey² (IoA)

10. Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts³ (US)

11. The Simpsons Ride⁴ (US)

12. Flight Of The Hippogriff (IoA)

13. Skull Island: Reign Of Kong (IoA)

14. Despicable Me Minion Mayhem (US)

15. Transformers: The Ride 3D (US)

16. Illumination’s Villain-Con Minion Blast (US)

17. Men in Black Alien Attack (US)

18. Doctor Doom’s Fear Fall (IoA)

19. The Cat In The Hat (IoA)

20. The High In The Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride (IoA)

21. Fast & Furious Supercharged (US)

22. Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon⁵ (US)

I’d say everything 8 and up is really good, 16 and up is good, 20 and up is acceptable, 21 and up is tolerable.

Also, Did Not Ride, so therefore Can Not Rank:

• Troll’s Trollercoaster (US)

• Caro-Seuss-el (IoA)

• Dudley Do-Right’s Ripsaw Falls (IoA) (too cold)

• Jurassic Park River Adventure (IoA) (closed for refurbishment)

• One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish (IoA)

• Popeye & Bluto’s Bilge-Rat Barges (IoA) (too cold)

• Storm Force Accelatron (IoA)

• Kang & Kodos Twirl ‘n Hurl (US)

1. Which has dethroned the Disneyland Paris version of Big Thunder Mountain Railroad as my official Favorite Rollercoaster (note Rollercoaster, not ride overall. In order I’d say Haunted Mansion, Rise Of The Resistance, and Mickey & Minnie’s Runaway Railway still beat it.)

2. Fantastic dark ride sections, would be much higher except I literally had to close my eyes on the screen parts I got so sick

3. Our audio was out of sync both times we road, so it was impossible to understand? Would probably be higher otherwise

4. Love the content, very funny, just made me too sick

5. This has also dethroned Journey Into Imagination as my official Least Favorite Ride (of any type.) I was so mad after this ride, I am filled with such deep loathing for Jimmy Fallon, it’s unreal.